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Helllo everyone :3

I thought I would take the time to clean up my account here, because after a long hiatus, I *might* be getting a little more active in my art.

I'll be going through and deleting a lot of my old stuff on here, or at least the pictures I deem to be uninspiring or don't really like anymore. I'd rather not get rid of old commissions, but there are some that I believe aren't great examples of my work and would rather not showcase them here anymore. IF I decided to delete one of your commissions from my gallery, I will NOT do it without notifying you (the commissioner) first and give you a few months to respond.

Unfortunately I don't have backups of my art. I've thrown a lot of stuff out, and had to buy a new laptop this summer because my old one crashed. I can't seem to get it up and running again, so as far as I'm concerned I've lost all of my original files as well as my personal bush settings to the program I use to draw on.

I still have several hundred messages on here that I haven't gotten around to answering yet, and although I've read most all of them, I can't see myself having time to reply to them at this point. That, and the subjects are so old I doubt they are even relevant anymore... I hope no one will be angry if I go through and clean those out as well. So that from now on, I will be faster in my responses and less bogged down by catching up on old stuff.

ALSO. Back in June 2015 I had posted a journal for a 700 watcher giveaway (which I'm sure everyone has long forgotten about by now lol) but because of my huge absence, I've dropped back down to about 625 lol. I think it goes without saying that the giveaway has been cancelled xD If I get closer to 700 in the near future I'll just make another one x)

So yup, don't be shocked by any changes. Every now and then it's good to clean out the dust and start fresh again.
Hey guys!!!! *springs out of nowhere throwing confetti everywhere*

I just wanted to make a quick journal to thank all of you for the love and support you've given me over the years. My DA journey has been a pretty wild ride, and although I've had to take a haitus, I can assure you that it's far from over. It still amazes me how many incredible people I've met here, and that I am still in touch with many of them to this day, even after so many years. You guys really are the best, and I don't know where I'd be without you.

I'd like to thank everyone in advance for their birthday wishes, and I'll try to answer as many of them as possible xD I still have a backlog of messages dating up to over a year ago, which I still can't seem to delete because I keep telling myself I'll find time to get to them eventually lol xD

I would like to give a special shoutout to a few people though xP
Thank you Jake for the unexpected (but not really because you kept messaging me about it lol) package in the mail. Like holy shit that candy was delicious. And I don't know what I did to deserve this gorgeous necklace but I haven't taken it off in like a week. Necklace by xXTheBlackSheepXx

And to my waifu, you absolute dork, for making me this:
Morning selfie by Black-Avenger
It's so fucking romantic and I'll probably print it out and tape it on the ceiling above my bed and think about you for hours.

And I'd just like to say how proud I am of my good friend :iconeniell:, who I've known for over 4 years now, and is finally expecting her first child. Congratulations, dear :)

I love you all!!! And thanks for making my day so special <3 I mean, I'm 22 now holy crap. I should probably go out and buy a rocker and start investing in some false teeth.
I know what you all are thinking.

"Look! It's another pointless journal from that freaking sheep who abandoned us all and hasn't uploaded any art in over a year!"I said EVERYONE STAY IN YOUR SEATS!! #triggered FnaF Icon - Vincent (Serious) 

And yes, my children. You'd be right. I AM a sheep. And I haven't drawn anything in over a year.Right shark! [emoticon] 

But I have never abandoned you. Serious derpy Toy Bonnie 

Not once.Sad Bonnie Chat Icon 

Not EVER.Chica's Angry Face (Chat Icon) 

I was always right here. In your heart. And your hearts were in my thoughts. And my thoughts were down in the gutter. And I've been stalking you all from afar... Wait, what? Scratch that, you didn't hear anything...

I'll have you know that my dearest darling waifu :iconblack-avenger: went ahead and pissed off the Japanese mafia (again), borrowing money from dangerous criminals merely to fuel her unhealthy gaming addictions. So I've been a bit busy lately with Yakuza and all that, fending them away from my lover and saving her tight little Denmarkian ass from trouble.

You know, the usual.Ciel Phantomhive (Serious Look) [V1] 

I also wanted to congratulate all of you young people on finishing another year of hell- I mean, high school- and in some cases, even graduating from it. As a mature, seasoned adult, I would like to offer a few words of advice and say,


*cough* Well, things are bound to get rough when you're on your own. But just know that your senpai is always here to talk things out and help you get your head back in the game.Saitama Serious Icon 

Other than that, I hope life has been going well for you all, and that none of you have like started a heroin addiction or anything.

*crickets chirping*

I LOVE YOU ALLLL!!!! DX *cries* (everyone reading this: Are You Serious? WTF? G.O )

*sniffles* my babies... stay with me and don't ever go away...Miuna Crying Icon 
Everything's good on my end, but I've been missing all my homies here terribly, especially when I still get messages like this:

Dawn of the Forest by PropertyofLamb
 showing me these wicked cool 3D models of my own designs ahaha. And then it just throws me in a loop and I start looking back at all the great collabs and commissions I've gotten on here and how it's so cool to see how far everyone is with their own art and their lives and I really am lucky to have made friends here that have lasted literally years.
More awesome stuff:

[C] Oliver by XSnowRoyale
I mean seriously, you all can draw my OC better than I can ahah.

But anyways. I miss being an active part of this website, and this is the longest hiatus I've ever taken from art in my life, but I know it's doing me some good. Currently I'm been painting birdhouses and learning to garden, meaning that my room is cluttered full of seeds and potted dirt and I really don't know what I'm doing yet, but I have at least 50 tomato plants that sprouted and I have no idea how I'm going to eat that many tomatoes... what was I even talking about? Oh yeah, and I'm putting together some mixed CDs and kind of designing music covers so... yeah. Random stuff like that which I probably won't upload unless someone is just super interested in seeing painted birdhouses and CD covers.

Just letting you all know that I'm still alive, and I miss every single one of you, even if it takes me way too long to reply to your messages. Eventually I will come back to this site, when the time is right.

Here's an awesome song because I'm running out of things to talk about lol.

I don't know how to phrase this, but, do you ever stop and look at your life and wonder "is this really the path I'm supposed to be on?" Not that there needs to be a 'path' necessarily, but sometimes it's easier to think that there might be a reason for existing, or that there's something you can do to make a difference in the world.

I think there's a point when people realize they have a talent for something; making stories, or art, or are good with mechanics or whatever. And then somewhere along the line they decide "I'm going to be the best writer/artist/engineer I can be" and they have this dream of writing a bestselling novel or building a rocket ship or saving someone's life. And they study and work hard to achieve that.

For me, it's been kind of impossible to figure out what I want to do. I've always had too many hobbies, and instead of focusing on one, I try to develop them all and end up getting nowhere lol. In high school, when I put my focus on music, I was performing and competing for years and was probably ranked one of the best in the state. I could have studied music, and continued to perform, but I took a different direction when I started college and worked harder on my art, cranking out a few hundred dollars worth of commissions while studying something completely different. Then when I moved on from college and started working in health care, I dropped both of those, focused just on work, and after a couple of months I've surprised myself in just how far I've come and how comfortable I am with such a challenging job. I've helped save lives, cared for those who are past saving, and I know that there is value in that.

But it kind of frustrates me how I can't figure out what I should be doing with my life. It's not as if I love music and writing and art anymore than I love working as a CNA or cooking or reading and that sort of thing. So picking one over the other is never satisfying. I'm constantly having to give up one thing in order to pursue something else.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is there something you feel like you should be doing with your life, but aren't? Do you have regrets about not pursuing something you enjoyed, or might have had a future in?

I feel so old omfg.

Just curious to hear about people's life stories, as always haha. Feel free to share.
To my charming waifu, :iconblack-avenger:

Who, when asked to give 3 words to describe me, artfully replied, "Living in filth" Big Fool Emoji-03 (Creep Stare) [V2] 

Bravo, my love. Bravo.Clap Epic clap Joker Clap 

(she's right though rofl)
Why hello there Moe Moe Tokyo Plz

How is everyone doing? Staying warm, I hope? If not, come curl up next to me ohoho  Britney Spears Are you suuure?

My DA account has become old and wrinkly and moldy from inactivity. But fear not, for I remain alive and spry with youth. ALIIIIVE! ALIVE I SAY!!roar scream 

Everyone at work is near-dead with mandated overtime, however, including me. That's healthcare for ya. No rest for the wicked. I originally signed on for 40 hour weeks but me and my co-workers are being told that if we can't start pulling 50-60 hour weeks while we're understaffed then our asses are basically fired. So yeah. The struggle is real. Somehow I'm pulling back to back 12 and 16 hour shifts without getting ill or collapsing onto the floor and blacking out. That would be hilarious. Jensen/Dean Evil Laugh ~ free to use! 

I've been having around two dozen mentally ill patients to take care of at a time and I don't think it's humanly possible to stretch myself any further at this point lol. There was some chick from housekeeping that was called in to keep an eye on one of the high risk patients, and she calls me in for help because she's freaking out over this temper tantrum the patient is throwing, and I basically come in there and tell the patient that "I don't have time to play" and "we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way" and end up having to literally grab her by the seat of her pants while she's biting me and throw her into her bed kicking and screaming. Meanwhile this housecleaning chick is looking at me like Gurl dis bitch means business holy shit and I really fudging do let me tell you. So done 

On my sacred days off, I've been doing some Christmas shopping which has been pretty nice now that I actually have some money to spend :3 I also knitted myself an awesome pair of leg warmers, so I'm pretty proud of those, too.

On a side note, my best friend from high school recently reached out to me and told me she was hospitalized with depression, so I've been trying to take care of her, too. Her shrink gave her medicine that turned her suicidal and I've been sharing my own experiences with depression/therapy/anxiety/suicide to give her a bit of hope and food for thought while she deals with her own demons.

I'm waiting for the moment when all of this stress will eventually cause some kind of burnout, because other than being restless and having a few nightmares, I've been handling it all pretty well so far. So thanks everyone who still reads my journals and sticks around while I do stupid stuff and get myself into all kinds of trouble. I hope I can become active again someday and we can blow up the IMs and joinme's with our ridiculousness Exo : Jongin Confetti 

Herro people of the universe.

Mon Sep 28, 2015, 1:51 PM
My drawing requests are about half-finished and they'll probably be the next things I post once I get the ambition to draw again x)


*begs for forgiveness*

Basically my job is taking away most of my free time, and the only thing I've had the energy to do besides going to work has been watching a thousand episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender so there you go haha. Time well spent.

I've been fitting in pretty well at the new place, but have no idea how long I plan on staying. I can't decide whether I should be thinking about getting an apartment soonish, or going back to school somewhere to finish my Nursing degree, or what. But I'm satisfied with where things are right now, so I'm not going to worry about it x)

I've been kicked, bitten, pinched, had my hair pulled, been peed on, and cleaned up way too much diarrhea on my shift but overall I'm surviving lol. Also one of my patients died yesterday and I had to do some postmortem care, basically washing up their corpse before someone else came with a stretcher and body bag and sent them out the door. So yeah, interesting stuff x) Everyday I'm learning a lot of new things. There's a lot that goes on in an 8-hour shift lol.

Also I'm on a mission to learn how to make the best fried rice the world has ever seen.

I'll be sure to update if things get more interesting x) Hope everyone's doing well!

Created at with image resources from

Dear Akira...

Tue Sep 8, 2015, 9:20 AM

Dear :iconblack-avenger:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped outside of Chicago and I saw you pour syrup on the crazy monk. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember our friendship.

Go burn, :iconxxtheblacksheepxx:

You went too far with that syrup, waifu. Too far.

I guess my virginity is nothing but a memory now...


Instructions: so basically you answer the questions below and insert your answer into the numbers of the blank entry below ;D

Dear *person who tagged you*, 

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).

(12), *your name*


  1. 1.What's the color of your shirt?
    Blue - Our romance is over
    Red - Our affair is over
    White - I'll join the monastery
    Black - I dislike you
    Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
    Grey - You're a pervert 
    Yellow - I'm selling myself
    Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
    Brown - The mafia wants you
    No shirt - You're a loser
    Other - I'm in love with your sister 

    2. Which is your birth month?
    January - That night
    February - Last year
    March - When your dwarf bit me
    April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
    May - First of May
    June - When you put cuffs on me
    July - When I threw up 
    August - When I saw the shrunken head
    September - When we skinny dipped
    October - When I quoted Santa
    November - When your dog ran amok
    December - When I changed tennis shoes

    3. Which food do you prefer?
    Tacos - In your apartment
    Pizza - In your camping car
    Pasta - Outside of Chicago 
    Hamburgers - Under the bus
    Salad - As you ate enchilada
    Chicken - In your closet
    Kabab - With Paris Hilton
    Fish - In women's clothing
    Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
    Lasagna - At the mental hospital
    Hot dog - Under a state of trance
    None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

    4. What's the color of your socks?
    Yellow - Hit on
    Red - Insult
    Black - Ignore
    Blue - Knock out
    Purple - Pour syrup on
    White - Carve your initials into
    Grey - Pull the clothes off
    Brown - Put leeches on
    Orange - Castrate
    Pink - Pull the toupee off
    Barefoot - Sit on
    Other - Drive out

    5. What's the color of your underwear?
    Black - My best friend
    White - My father 
    Grey - Bill Clinton
    Brown - My fart balloon
    Purple - My mustard soufflé
    Red - Donald Duck
    Blue - My avocado plant
    Yellow - My penpal in Ghana 
    Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
    Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper 
    None - My John F. Kennedy statue
    Other - The crazy monk

    6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
    Scrubs - Man
    O.C. - Emotional
    One Tree Hill - Open
    Heroes - Frostbitten
    Lost - High
    House - Scarred
    Simpsons - Cowardly 
    The news - Mongolic
    Idol - Masochistic
    Family Guy - Senile
    Top Model - Middle-class
    None of the above – Ashamed 

    7. Your mood right now?
    Happy - How awful I've felt 
    Sad - How boring you are
    Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
    Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
    Depressed - That we're cousins
    Excited - That there is no solution to this
    Nervous - The middle-east
    Worried - That your Honda sucks
    Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
    Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
    Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
    Overjoyous - That I'm open
    Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

    8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
    White - Your ring
    Yellow - Your love letters
    Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
    Black - Your tame stone
    Blue - The couch cushions 
    Green - The pictures from LA
    Orange - Your false teeth
    Brown - Your contact book
    Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
    Purple - Your old lottery coupons
    Pink - The cut toenails
    Other - Your memories from the military service

    9. The first letter of your first name?
    A/B - Your photo 
    C/D - The oil stocks
    E/F - Your neighbour Martin
    G/H - My virginity
    I/J - The results of your blood-sample
    K/L - Your left ear
    M/N - Your suicide note
    O/P - My common sense
    Q/R - Your mom
    S/T - Your collection of butterflies
    U/V - Your criminal record
    W/X - David's tricot outfits
    Y/Z - Your grades from college

    10. The last letter in your last name?
    A/B - Always will remember
    C/D - Never will forget
    E/F - Always wanted to break
    G/H - Never openly mocked
    I/J - Always have felt dirty before 
    K/L - Will tell the authorities about
    M/N - Told in my confession today about
    O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
    Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
    S/T - Get sick when I think of
    U/V - Always will try to forget
    W/X - Am better off without
    Y/Z - Never liked

    11. What do you prefer to drink?
    Water- Our friendship
    Beer - Senility
    Soft drink - A new life as a clone
    Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
    Milk - The apartment building
    Wine - Cocaine abuse 
    Cider - A passionate interest for mice
    Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
    Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
    Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
    Whisky - To ruin the second world war
    Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

    12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
    Thailand - Warm regards
    USA - Best regards
    England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
    Spain - Go and drown yourself
    China - Disgusting regards
    Germany - With ease
    Japan - Go burn
    Greece - Your everlasting enemy
    Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
    Egypt - Fuck off now
    France - In pain
    Other - Greetings to your freaky family

I'm tagging lots of people because this is actually a really fun tag xD
:iconfollyfox: :iconsilly-finn: :iconitsukisakura: :iconpurbosky: :iconsadaharugin: :iconxkiiro-me: :iconaka-finley: :iconartsypurplepanda: :iconmoo-sicle: :iconeimtee: :iconvirmont89: :iconeniell: :iconrainatmosphere: :iconmorphicelus:

No pressure though! :)

Created at with image resources from


Thu Aug 6, 2015, 3:01 PM
Okay my chicklets... I know everyone is freaking out over this Core hoopla... but let's all calm down a second... and stop setting things on fire okay? *confiscates torches and pitchforks*

Coming from someone who's been on this site for... *checks my profile*... 6+ years: No, the world is not coming to and end. Deviantart does not hate you. And really, this isn't anything new.

For anyone who's confused about what I'm referring to, recently dA has increased the price of premium memberships (now called Core memberships) from around $25 a year to $50 a year. Also they've changed the little symbol thingies next to people's names to indicate the difference between regular/beta/core users.

This is a pretty freaking huge deal for people who:
1) hate the color orange or the fact that they don't have a star next to their username
2) used to buy their year's membership off of 50 cent point commissions they've accumulated throughout the year
3) are common folk who can no longer afford a $50 charge to get all the benefits of their favorite website.

These are valid reasons to be upset. The old prices were pretty much affordable for everyone. You could use dA and all its extra features for an entire year, at the cost of a DVD. Roughly $2 a month. Honestly, that's probably the reason why there had to be a price increase in the first place.

I always thought that buying a membership to a website was just a way to give back to that community, and support something you thought was worth keeping around. I used to moderate a smaller website that offered memberships as well, even though all they did was add a little tag next to your avatar and turn off ads. Why did people buy them? Because they realized how expensive it was for the owner to maintain the site and keep things running for everyone. It was a smaller community than dA, obviously, so all the mods and junior-mods were working as volunteers. But even still, funding was tight. There were often times where we would plan events and activities that would encourage traffic, simply so that the site would earn a few extra dollars from ad revenue for the week.

I'm sure that the cost of running a website as huge as Deviantart is larger than what most people would ever expect. Despite all the hate, dA is still the biggest, most diverse art site around. As for myself, it's pretty incredible to have such a broad audience for my work. It's done wonders with my commission experience and I've been able to collaborate with other artists from around the world. You can do all of that and more without even donating a penny. For me, buying a membership would just be my way of giving back. The extra profile widgets would just be an added plus (do people seriously fork out $25 for those alone?).

I don't know where I'm getting at with this whole rant, but I think my main point is that there are a lot of other factors at play here, and maybe this isn't such an issue that you all need to go off and sign petitions and boycott the whole thing ^_^' Sure, dA should have made some kind of announcement about the price change. And yeah, maybe there should be different types of memberships, or other ways of giving back or getting the perks without having to pay top dollar. But if journal skins and webcams are your main reasons for sticking around nowadays, then maybe your priorities have shifted a bit since you joined. Although I can imagine if you've navigated the site on a premium for the last couple years, this change will be a bit of an adjustment.

Anyways, I'll be staying with dA, for better or for worse x) It's likely the next year or two will see a lot of changes as the staff tracks all the income and traffic fluctuation. *jumps up and down excitedly* *grabs popcorn*

I'll see you all around xP Or not. Ohohoho <3
(plz don't leave, I'll miss you :( )

Created at with image resources from
I feel like I LITERALLY just had my last 100 watch landmark a month ago; apparently I'm around 470+ right now and if I'm not too careful the big 5 double O is going to pass me right up!

For me, 500 watchers had always felt like it would be some kind of significant achievement of mine (I mean, it's literally half a thousand people that noticed my art) so this is pretty awesome for me x) And of COURSE I would have to cross it when I'm in the biggest, busiest semester of my college career xD Can't exactly throw yourself a party when you're neck-deep in a clusterfuck of a thousand other responsibilities lol. Seriously you guys should see the stuff they're starting to throw at me in my courses O_O We've covered so much material in one of my classes that I already have a test to prepare for next week. This pre-med pre-nursing bio-medical science psycho-ness is sucking the life out of me, and the process of re-applying to my program is stressful to say the least. There's a possibility I still won't get accepted and I might have to transfer schools or re-think my life strategy. Like, seriously figure my shit out. Sometimes I'll just sit in lecture and suddenly wonder how the hell I made it this far. Other times I look at where I'm at and where I want to be and I feel so stuck. It's an odd feeling.

ANYWAYS, before I got sidetracked, the whole point of this journal was to thank everyone for their unbelievable support throughout my time on DA. I can't describe how much it has meant to me. I know that without a doubt I would never have pursued art with this level of enthusiasm if it wasn't for all the amazing encouragement I've received from hundreds of random strangers taking time out of their day to leave me messages, faves, watches, etc. Thank you to all the people who have commissioned me and challenged me and provided me with enough Christmas cash so that I could actually buy presents for my family rather than just digging up rocks or something and wrapping them in toilet paper. And of course, thanks to all of my dedicated watchers who are always there to support me whenever I need it. You're all a bunch beautiful little angels :)

I wish I could celebrate this 500 watcher mark by showering you all with gifts and presents and kisses and ponies, but with how much I have had going on in my life recently, it might just be better for me to sit down, have a cup of tea, and keep carrying on.

I hope everyone is staying nice and warm this season! Unlike me, who is freezing my metaphorical balls off with this winter bullshit.
Much love and all the best!
  • Drinking: water
Seriously, how cool is it that I find out my commission is finished 2 HOURS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY. LIKE, HECK TO THE FREAKING YES! *screaming joyously*

It's Oliver!!

I've been doing commissions for like forever now, but I've never experienced the joy of having one made for me O_O Warm and fuzzy feeling X10,000 *explodes*

Show the artist some love, he did such a wonderful job
  • Listening to: ed sheeran
  • Drinking: water
The one thing about college I do not miss is waking up to find random men sleeping on my couch.
Belts and shorts draped over the dining room chair.
The new roomie's boyfriend walking around the house midday in his pajamas.
I do not care if you all realized at 3 am that you didn't have a place to stay, get the fudge outta my apartment unless you want my cereal and milk dumped down the backside of your pants, mofos. I swear to Buddha I can kill a man with a waffle iron.

Just another day of school, oh how I've missed the excitement.
I'll be drawing until my steam runs out.
  • Reading: micro notes
Oliver Bartholomew Paper Child by graffiti-blaze
:icongraffiti-blaze: was sooo nice to draw out my Oliver for me! Isn't he adorable? Isn't he?!?!
It made my morning more fantastical because as I sat eating my oatmeal I had this beautiful drawing to look at ^_^
Thanks again~!

Oh, and I kind of lied in my last journal when I said I was done with requests/commissions for a while because all of a sudden I got a couple more offers that I simply CANNOT TURN DOWN haha so I will be pretty busy with those for a while ^_^'

Hm, this October I've been completely in the Halloween spirit, eating candy corn like it was my last meal and spending hours in the cadaver lab on campus with friends. Dead bodies, folks! Dead bodies everywhere! Some look a little more lively than others and some of them are decaying to the point where they resemble fried chicken. My exams this month have been pretty exhausting but let's hope I aced my lab practical lol, I'm tired of smelling like formaldehyde!

How is everyone else doing, though? I miss you guys!
  • Listening to: rain
  • Watching: food network x)
  • Eating: cinnamon oatmeal
  • Drinking: water